You don’t complete me
by Sophia Love, published on February 3, 2019
What is it to love?
Is it possible that our very insides have confused us? Has love’s true nature been camouflaged within something else? Have we somehow been deceived into expectations of love’s existence, rather than comforted by love’s true expression?
What is love anyway?
You’ve heard, possibly, that love is what you are, that love is synonymous with light and that love is the core truth of you; your very essence. But, what does all of that even mean?
A year ago, the daily love notes began to be delivered. It was felt then, that we could all use a little more love. They are written in batches, composed with emotion and infused with compassion. As much energy as can be compacted into those daily 70 characters, is included within each phrase. I meditate within, focus on, and then write – love.
Because of this process, and your response to the result, I’ll speak now about what I’ve noticed.
I’ve noticed, and please hang in there for this, that love really doesn’t depend on anyone else.
Love is literally there for you 24/7. Whether or not you absorb it, feel it, notice it or even glance in its direction – is all on you. Love exists regardless.
It’s always here, inside, and whether or not I conjure it up for a batch of love notes, a kiss for my partner or a hug for my son does not deplete it.
This is what I’ve learned. I’ve learned that love is real. It doesn’t depend on any other in order to exist. Not exist as a sentimental and separate component of a specific relationship. No. It stands unencumbered by drama, unchained with expectations and free.
What love looks like is misunderstood, often. In both story and film, love is painted with absorbing colors that mix together to become sort of a single-toned mess. In our current language of oneness, it is a challenge to define love as a thing that can be defined in any tangible way.
Yet, in human relationships, there must be borders and clarity. We have defined these as borders to our love. They have become separators in this current definition. And here is where the confusion begins.
Love is massive, everywhere, and beyond definition. Like the air, you only need to breathe it in and allow its release.
Relationships, by definition, exist between two separate unique individuals. The only way they work is when each of the partners establish boundaries and rules for their crossing. If the rules aren’t followed, the boundaries fail, and the relationship eventually follows suit.
What I’m attempting to say here, is that it is not the love that needs the boundaries in order to exist – IT IS THE RELATIONSHIP. The love exists regardless. This is where it gets complicated and we can become confused. Relationships are a choice and have definitions. Love? It exists.
No one completes you. You are complete unto yourself.
Admittedly, you’d be in a rough place, as a 3D person, to understand what love was without its expression, and its expression occurs in relationship. All successful and healthy relationships have boundaries.
The boundaries are essential for the people. They are necessary so that love’s expression is sent where it is directed, and so that it is viscerally felt when it lands. They are not essential for the love, or defining the love, or measuring the love, or reducing the love. The love exists regardless.
The participants inside of the relationship are not one, they are two. They can stand intertwined, as in the meshing of our fingers together when we pray. Or they can stand beside one another, which is another way our hands come together in prayer. In either case, a prayer is indicated. Do you see?
There is more to say, yet not today… Next time we’ll explore the nature of love and the differences in its expression; there are vast fields of expression inside of relationship, all of them valid, each of them love. Which relationship we choose does not diminish or enhance our ability to love. It instead indicates what parts of ourselves we are interested in unpacking and where we’d like to put those parts.
Just know that it is okay to need help in your personal relationships. You may want assistance not because you don’t have love or are without worth or unlovable or just weird – but because relationships by definition require two separate individuals. Individuals come with baggage and unpacking all of that takes time.
The love? It is there always. You’ll decide inside each and every relationship just how much of it you want to unload and expose. Trust.
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