Poised at the edge of awareness

Poised at the edge of awareness

By Sophia Love, published on April 6, 2015

Welcome to April’s Love Quest.  What is present for me today is a realization that in a very real sense, this journey is fiction.   It’s been constructed now by me, with you, as a sort of meandering… We are not really going anywhere.  We Are.  Always and in all ways.

These words are maybe entertaining and perhaps thought provoking, yet not leading you anywhere you don’t already inhabit.  It’s only this forgetting that propels us to journey.  And now, with increasing velocity, we are approaching a remembering.

In four years of “Questing” I’ve learned something.  Agape is not a popular road.  It sounds good – unconditional love – yet does not often feel good.  To feel love under any condition puts the whole feeling in question.  For “love” at its essence is not the many things we have mistaken it for.  It is not loyalty, or duty, or passion, or marriage, or obedience, or ownership.  And agape is akin to the love of the creator – it stands without any condition.

This week I’d like to explore these “conditions”.  They seem to cause us so much trouble…

This remembering we are doing will take us as deeply within as we, in our current form, can handle successfully.  We stand at the edge of what some would call enlightenment; others full awareness, and it’s up to us to decide whether or not to jump.

There is a guarantee that the water is warm and stocked with joy – yet the way down is rocky and treacherous and downright scary.  It demands raw honesty, complete transparency, and candid, fearless exposure.  You can’t have your own team or judgment or safety net.  It’s only you – all ways and always.  You can stop at any point and stay there for as long as you like.

Agape, when practiced, is complete freedom.  It holds you to nothing, binds you to no one.  In the same instant it gives you room to hold anyone and anything at all.  You just can’t keep it or them.  Not the way we understand “keeping” today.

Agape holds no grudges.  It finds no fault.  It has no judgment, need or missing part.  This is not protocol for most of our love relationships.  We join together now; filled with expectations, judgments and needs.  We say things like “you complete me”, as if that was even possible.

We are complete as we take our next breath.  Everything we desire is within, we only need remember.

So we grew up with religions, parents, love songs, movies and apps – telling us what love should look like.  It keeps score, fulfills our needs, and above all is reserved for only one “other”.  One God.  One lover.  One family.  One country.  One group.  One team.  One best friend.  Love, as we have been hearing, is a pie; only so big with so many separate pieces to distribute.

Intellectually you know this can’t be true.  The creator of all things loves all of its creations.  A parent loves all of his/her children.  We marry/divorce/marry and “cheat” with alarming regularity.  We meet new people and fall in love every day.

Yet to live this way?  Out loud?  How do we successfully navigate all this love – without feeling cheated ourselves or worse – feeling insincere?  How do we love full out?  All the time and in every possibility?  What is love anyway?

This week I’d like to explore this returning to what is our truth – agape.  It is a challenge to put into words.  The rules I learned so very young have bound me in ways that I imagine bind you too.  Yet I know this:  Love is not a pie or reserved for a singular “other”.  I know not because I have been told.  I know because my heart has loved.  Despite all of the imprinting, my heart keeps on loving.  I suspect your heart may have discovered a similar truth.

Love is a garden and all of its flowers are unique, beautiful and available to both give and receive it.  Agape is our essence.  Every struggle, each heartbreak, all anger and sadness appears when the force of our love is prevented.  And who stops the flow of love?  It is us.

The vibratory shift we went through last month has set the perfect stage for our Quest into Agape.

Unconditional self-love is that “you” that you sense when you manage to reach your truth.  It is where you “hang out” between lives, problems and conditions. It’s what we’ll find once we jump off our mountain of judgment.

You are without fault – one unique flower in an exquisite field of astonishing beauty and fragrance.  Not one of us can replicate you – your contribution is personal, powerful, solitary and necessary.  How you look and how you see has only happened once; that once is right now.  Don’t change a thing.  Remember.  All that you need is available to you; it resides in your heart.  The one you must love without condition is the one reading these words.  You are the one you’ve been waiting for.

See you tomorrow.

~Sophia

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